Written by: Nina Daugherty
Now I know a lot of girls from ALL
generations love the “bad boy” image. They find the idea of risk and
danger to be attractive. However, people underestimate how attractive a
man who follows God is. As much as we want to believe that the “bad boy”
is what we want (click here for more on this), the light of Christ
shining through someone’s eyes, behavior, and soul will always win over.
Keep in mind, not everyone who says they are Christian is actually
Christian (If they say they are religious…run for the hills…true
Christianity is about relationship not religion!). First let me offer
you a few characteristics of a Christian guy:
1) He goes to church regularly and is active- Anyone can go to
church but you can tell if someone really is a part of the body of
Christ is if they are there regularly and are part of some type of
ministry. This will not only show you someone is holding them
accountable but also they are part of a cause other than themselves.
2) He owns and actually reads his bible- The Word holds truth.
It became flesh through Jesus (John 1:1) as an example of how to walk.
You want this person to be a role model for you and those around him.
One day it may be your children looking to him for an example on how to
walk as a Christian.
3) Look at those around him- In this journey of sexual purity,
it is so important to have the right people around you. For more about
this, click here. You can tell more about a person by looking at the
crowd they are a part of. Think about this in your own life.
You may think, “I’m young…I don’t care about that stuff! I have time.” I
have witnessed many young people lose their life either physically or
through a relationship God never meant them to have. I’m letting you
know now you are setting the foundation not only for your future
marriage but also for your future children. Invest your time in someone
who deserves it.
Another question you may be asking yourself is, “Why is she talking
about kids? I don’t have any yet.” The reason why I bring up kids is
because unfortunately a lot of people will accept ungodly situations (to
say the least) when it’s just them by themselves. However, when you
become a parent you are no longer responsible for your life but for the
protection of your little ones. The love of a parent runs deeper than
you will ever know until you are one and you don’t want to be in a
situation where your child will be abused or grow up in a hostile
environment. With that being said, here are some reasons why a Christian
man is the way to go:
1) You love the same God-
Already there is an instant connection and knowability between you.
Also, going to church or for the future bringing your kids to church
will not be an issue. Being a mother who comes to church alone may open a
doorway of jealousy and bitterness when you see men of God bringing
their families to church and your husband is home.
2) You are on the same page- Hopefully you won’t need to explain
a lot as to why you want to remain sexually pure. He will already
understand the whys and be on the same path.
3) He will know how to pray for you- There is nothing like a man
who can pray! I’m sorry but contrary to popular opinion; there is no
greater power than the power received from the Almighty. One day when
you or your children are in a place of either extreme sickness or
sadness, you will want someone who can speak life and cover you with
spiritual protection. Every time my hubby prays for me he gets that much
hotter (didn't think it was possible..lol).
4) He can wash you with the Word- One thing that helps us
Christians get through the deceptions of life is finding truth in the
Word of God. God specifically says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as
Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might
sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word” (Eph.
5:25-26). So you know when you’re in that place where you just need
someone to speak to you on a real level and give you that much needed
encouragement, your husband will be that for you.
5) You can help each other learn more about God- The bible says,
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Prov. 27:17).
You can bounce ideas and thoughts off each other. We also learn
differently so there may be a topic you can explain in a way the other
person understands better.
6) The Holy Spirit will help direct his behavior- You know if we
(male or female) are left to our own devices it can be catastrophic. If
we lean on the One who created us then we have a better chance of
making the right decisions. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy,
peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and
self-control…” (Gal. 5:22-23).
7) He will have the right people around him- This will be
important especially if you are struggling in sexual purity or just in
general. You want him to turn to God or the healthy people in his life
rather than people who will encourage him to cheat or leave you.
I pray this changes your perspective on Christian guys. By no means am I
saying Christian men are perfect, they will have their faults too. The
Word says, “for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises
again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity” (Prov. 24:16). God
is telling you the difference between when a man of God falls and
someone who is not of faith.
I cannot stress enough how much this is for your protection. You should
not be dating someone who is not Christian. “Do not be yoked together
with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in
common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” (2 Cor. 6:14).
They will be used to pull you away from God instead of towards. When in
doubt, return to your First Love and let Him figure it out.
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